Why it’s good for a girl to have brothers

the only girl and the brothers

You may not think it now but believe me, it’s good for a girl to have a brother (or three) to gain secret insights. The benefits of why it’s good for a girl to have brothers are never obvious when you’re being mercilessly teased during childhood. Instead, wait for the wisdom to come with age, together with an impressive pair of balls.

It’s good for a girl to have brothers as a child because you:

  • are always the pretty one.
  • get to have your own room.
  • learn how to cook, clean and keep house (because they were mostly lazy).
  • have more friends because they all want to date your brothers.
  • discover how to fight dirty.
  • learn revenge is a meal best served cold when your mother forced your brother to buy you emergency sanitary towels.
  • ‘paid it forward’ by pooing in the bath, with two of them in it, when you were a toddler.
  • had all the coolest music – your brothers DJ-ed as a hobby.
  • get brutal honesty about your boyfriends (even though you won’t listen to them anyway).
  • are constantly entertained.
  • usually get treated nicer by guys or ‘my brother(s) will sort you out!’
  • always have a date should you be stuck for a last-minute plus one, but you could still chat someone up and not feel guilty.
  • go under the radar because your parents are too busy noticing the dumbass things they do, to notice you.
  • develop a thick skin and aren’t vain because they like to tease you about your looks.
  • always have someone who’s got your back.
  • know how to use your wits and not your feminine wiles to get your own way.
  • don’t get jealous they’re Mommy’s Boys because you’re forever Daddy’s Girl.

It’s good to have brothers because as an adult you now:

  • use words sparingly and don’t tend to jabber.
  • are ballsy.
  • don’t cry when you feel physical pain.
  • don’t need validation from a man because your brothers already think you’re the bomb.
  • always have (three) experts on tap.
  • only have to look at your brothers’ faces to catch a glimpse of your beloved late father.
  • at least have help looking after your aged parent(s).
  • get the last laugh when they end up paunchy after calling you ‘baby elephant’ as a child.
  • realise that blood is thicker than water.
  • don’t crave girly make-up, trips to the hairdresser, mani-pedis or fashion trends, saving you time and money!
  • can get by without relying on male flattery or attention.
  • believe the worst about yourself so you never give up trying harder.
  • aren’t affected by insults, so people have to find other ways to crush you.
  • know that when they pay you a compliment it’s genuine.
  • are not grossed out by male behaviour because you’ve seen it all.
  • realise that even when they’re grown up, they remain little boys.
  • know the way to a man’s heart is a meal cooked with love.
  • understand males like to feel needed, but not too much.
  • appreciate that men don’t like to hear whining.
  • acknowledge that asking them to do a thing more than once is classified as ‘nagging’.
  • don’t enjoy making a man cry by deliberately hurting him.
  • have someone to commiserate with about your childhood.
  • learn that males need their space and a man cave in which to do their manly stuff.
  • know that if you need to play games to keep a guy, he’s not meant for you.
  • are highly blessed to not have to shave your face every day.
  • are tough AND ladylike.
  • have a cheerleader for life.

I have zero issues with men, and are not intimidated by them. The fact is, all genders can be spiteful, violent, sexual predators, not only males. Years of insults mean I’m not vain or insecure and don’t rely on my looks. In order to be kinder, less manipulative humans we have to see the world through the eyes of the opposite sex. It’s good for a girl to have brothers – we know we rule the world AND don’t look ridiculous in pants or skirts.

Dedicated to my brothers, but especially the eldest, Jeremy (16/09/63 – 02/02/13), who always flew too close to the sun…

Jeremy and I